November 2009
1 post
This is kind of turning into my, “I want to write something especially creepy” blog. :]
Yesterday. It was fantastic. One of the best, and most important experiences of my life.
A week ago, I decided to email Konrad, asking about baptism, and if I could speak with him about it. He said we could, and to let him know what days worked for me. So I did. We ended up speaking after youth...
September 2009
5 posts
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Only not really. I just like this song.
Believe me, You really don't have to worry. I only want to make you happy And if you say, "Hey, go away," I will But I think better still, I'd better stay around and love you. Do you think I have a case? Let me ask you to your face: Do you think you love me? I think I love you.
In your world of two, there’s only room for you.
She told me not to set myself up to get hurt. Isn’t that exactly what I’m doing?
:] Pleasant thoughts. Very.
August 2009
26 posts
OKAY SO, I need to stop thinking about it. It doesn’t make ANNNYYYY difference at all, until my birthday. I am waiting, not wondering. Waaaiting. Not wondering. I just need to remember that, and I can keep my sanity. It doesn’t matter if he likes or does not like me tomorrow, or the next day, three weeks from now, three months from now. It doesn’t matter. At all. Worrying does no...
I can’t believe I’m so pathetic that I wake up and he’s my very first thought.
You’ve got to be kidding me.
I thought last night would just be awesome, but I did not think I would like him freaking more. That almost takes away from the awesome.. now..
*rolls eyes*
I’m so stupid. XD.
I liked Saturday. I went to that party.. It started out really, really awkward. That’s unavoidable with me though. After a few people got there though, I was totally fine. It was weird. I was actually comfortable with people. XD This surprised me, as I was the only girl there for a while. They are some rad people though. Some aspects of the night went amazingly better than planned, and...
Yes, very funny that I’m cheered by what I’ll never have.
antelopezown: Hmm.
antelopezown: I wish I had a wand.
antelopezown: I’d narrate my life
antelopezown: but pretend I was a guy
antelopezown: so I could say, “He quickly pulled his wand out of his pants at the first sign of danger.” … Yes, I’m quoting myself.
Lol. I really like that one song by Teegan and Sara, Nineteen… so I listen to some other songs…. and I very much dislike every single one I’ve listened to.
>.< I wish I could read minds. I hate when people randomly and obviously stare at you.
Trying to distract myself……………….. not working…………
I am just so stupid. XD.
NOT IN A GOOD MOOD.
Nnnnnn. I hope, I hope, I hope.
I wish I could drive.
Something horrible. I just realized that if I go to Calvin College, I won’t be in Minnesota. If I’m not in Minnesota, I’ll be going to a different church. If I’m going to a different church, I won’t be going to the same church. If I’m not going to the same church, I WON’T. I WON’T. I...
SUCH FURY.
I’m so ridiculous.
If I ever again say, “That’s amazing!” in response to something awkward/stupid/lame/nerdy/weird/dorky that a guy I like says or does……. please slap me. XD I don’t know why it bothers me so much that I do this. I suppose because it’s not amazing… it’s awkward/stupid/lame/nerdy/weird/dorky.
Why do people ask for my advice? Do they not see my confusion? My inexperience? I am so afraid to say the wrong thing.
A time so fleeting, quickly gone. One moment more, too soon foregone. Your voice around, your eyes on me, Please let it last; please don’t leave. So silently, my mind begs you. No words are formed, nor sounds come through. I cannot say, I cannot hear. You cannot see, or know my fear. I wish for words, I need to speak. None are right, all words are weak. How can you know, if you cannot. How...
I have found my soul mate.
You: My mind to your mind…
Stranger: My thoughts to your thoughts
You: Parted from me and never parted…
Stranger: never and always touching and touched.
You: I love you.
Unfortunately, we will never again speak. MY BETROTHED.
My night/morning/day/life has been made.
The book feels like fanfiction.
After I realized that was why I wasn’t enjoying it, I started to enjoy it.
:]
I officially allow myself to obsess completely.
This… was not my initial intention. I was only going to watch an episode or two for conversational purposes.
IT’S AWESOME THOUGH and I love obsessing.
I am very confused.
I am SO bad at this. It is unbelievable. I can’t help but get excited though!
It would be cool to have creative moments. I am so very uncreative.
I wish we lived in a different world.
I wish I knew you.
I wish I could control my emotions.
I wish I was good enough.
But we don’t,
I never will,
I can’t,
and I’m not.
And that’s just fine.
Oh thank goodness. After the concert tonight my schedule may be messed up again. I was getting very upset with going to bed at 11 or 12 every night.
Aggggghhh. Should I ask?
Would it kill you to use punctuation? Really?
I am a hypocrite as my punctuation is pretty lame on the internet, but oh my goodness, A QUESTION DOES NOT END IN A PERIOD.
I want something permanent. I want something so permanent it’s simple. What can I do though?
Silly, sillly, silly.
I need to know what I want before I can get it. Sometimes that’s not quite enough though.
Promises aren’t good enough anymore. Not good enough. I need something tangible.
303 days.
I keep dreaming about animals, but I can’t remember what the dream is. I...
>.< I just LOVE it how I can go from perfectly content to angry at everything in less than a minute.
How can someone be very happy one minute and shaking with rage the next, from small, stupid, every day occurences?
Ridiculous.
Ugh, I want to tear my hair out.
I have just realized that I unintentionally decided not to date until after my birthday.
That’s so awesome.
What a great idea.
I’m so happy that I’m going to be single my entire senior year.
I didn’t decide that on purpose, but I think I’m just going to add that. It’s so great. :D
WHAT A GREAT IDEA.
I’m going to go 307 days without crushing on anyone other than a particular person. This is insane for me, but not completely insane. I went to a play/musical/concert/whatever last night and didn’t see two people I had expected to see. I was surprised that I wasn’t disappointed at all. I didn’t want to see them. I think this will work, because of that.
I want a bike. I...
There.